#also I need to draw dracula in stockings

[gentleman-aster]

Rocky Horror Picture Show but it's Dracula do u see my vision

[butternuggets-blog]

DRACULA: A Modern Adaptation

My script for a modern tv adaptation of Dracula, based on the novel by Bram Stoker Also on AO3

EPISODE TWO

201     EXT. CASTLE DRACULA

There is a figure standing inside the now-open door, far enough back that Jonathan has room to enter. It is DRACULA, holding an antique silver lamp, standing stock still like the world’s most awkward dinner date.

DRACULA

[in English] Welcome to my house! Enter freely and of your own will!

That was a strange turn of phrase. Perhaps something was lost in translation. Dracula’s English is heavily accented and practised but slow, each word carefully chosen. He is new to the language. He looks like a tall, old man with white hair.

Jonathan steps across the threshold. His fate is sealed.

Dracula, smiling, darts forward and shakes Jonathan’s hand. Jonathan winces; his grip is too strong, too tight, and the flesh deathly cold.

JONATHAN

Count Dracula?

Dracula nods.

DRACULA

I am Dracula. Come in; the nights are cold in the mountains and you must be starved.

JONATHAN

I am quite hungry, yes, but if it’s too much trouble-

DRACULA

No trouble at all!

202     TRACKING SHOT - INT. CASTLE DRACULA – DINING ROOM

Dracula leads Jonathan “along the passage…up the staircase…and along another passage” to the dining room [possibly a drawing room, judging by the description in the novel] set with plates for dinner but no food. Dracula opens a side door and shows Jonathan the guest bedroom and ensuite bathroom.

203     INT. CASTLE DRACULA – GUEST BEDROOM

DRACULA

Please, wash your hands and refresh yourself, and I will summon the servants to come and lay out dinner.

Dracula leaves.

204     INT. CASTLE DRACULA – GUEST BEDROOM ENSUITE

Jonathan washes his hands, noticing that the bathroom has no mirror.

JONATHAN

That’s odd.

205     INT. CASTLE DRACULA – DINING ROOM

Jonathan leaves the bathroom and returns to the dining room where Dracula is waiting. He is pleasantly surprised to see that the table is laden with a feast: “..roast chicken…some cheese and a salad…and a bottle of old Tokay, of which [Jonathan has] two glasses”. He sits down and begins to eat.

JONATHAN

My compliments to the chef.

DRACULA

I will pass it along.

Dracula is sitting opposite Jonathan, at the head of the table. He is not eating.

JONATHAN

[gesturing] You won’t…

DRACULA

No, thank you. I have dined already tonight, and I do not sup.

He speaks fluent English with an intonation from another time.

JONATHAN

Oh, before I forget-

Jonathan pulls out an envelope and hands it to Dracula. He opens it and retrieves the letter inside, unfolding it.

Dracula tuts, sympathetically.

DRACULA

Gout; a painful condition indeed. Mr Hawkins has great faith in you!

JONATHAN

I should hope so; he helped train me!

DRACULA

Oh?

JONATHAN

While I was still doing my solicitor training in Exeter he let me sort papers and answer phones in his office. And now I work for him! It’s all come together quite brilliantly, really.

DRACULA

And led you here to me! Tell me, how are you finding our little part of the world?

JONATHAN

The Carpathians are…quaint. Very rural…not that there’s anything wrong with keeping to tradition! It’s good to be able to hold onto culture.

DRACULA

Our traditions are what is holding this country back! We need to divorce the past and marry the future if we are to survive this evolving world.

Jonathan looks self-conscious. He wants to ask an awkward question but isn’t sure how to broach the subject. He goes for it.

JONATHAN

…on the ride here, the people in the coach were calling you-…things.

DRACULA

Ordog? Stregoica?

Jonathan nods.

DRACULA

Capitalism makes monsters of us all. I am an eternal optimist looking to raise people to the exalted peaks of the twenty-first century, and everyone else prefers to consign themselves to mud.

Wolves howling outside cuts through the conversation, startling Jonathan. He looks nervous; Dracula takes notice, smiles.

DRACULA

Ah, you city dwellers. But you must be tired. Sleep well and dream well, and stay abed as long as you want. I have to be away till the afternoon.

Dracula stands up; Jonathan does as well. Dracula opens Jonathan’s bedroom door for him, bows deeply, and leaves.

206     FADE IN – INT. CASTLE DRACULA – GUEST BATHROOM ENSUITE

It is day again; late afternoon specifically. Jonathan, dressed messily in pyjamas and a bathrobe, walks sleepily into the bathroom. He pulls a toilette bag out and is surprised to find that his modern mirror has been replaced with an antique silver-backed hand mirror.

207     FLASHBACK - INT. GOLDEN KRONE HOTEL – ROOM SEVEN

The Old Man rifles through Jonathan’s belongings. He swaps out the mirror with the antique, pocketing it.

208     INT. CASTLE DRACULA – LIBRARY

Montage of Jonathan getting dressed, having breakfast, and entering a library. Jonathan is astonished; he wanders the room slowly, with a look of wonder on his face. As he moves in a slow circle around the library, carefully inspecting the collection, the windows set in the walls behind him show the sped-up setting of the sun.

The library collection holds many glossy, modern books, magazines and newspapers. They are in excellent shape if well-read and all dated to the early 2000s. There is a Whitaker’s Almanac on a table sitting beside Jonathan’s work document case.

Go wild set dressers! Throw in some Lonely Planet, some National Geographic. Whatever’s funniest!

The Count enters the room.

DRACULA

[gesturing to the bookcases] I see you have found my friends!

JONATHAN

You have an impressive collection.

DRACULA

I thank you. I have tried to capture London, and England, within these walls but the true spirit of a country must be experienced! It cannot simply be read. I have taught myself English but even that…[vague gesture]…to speak words in another tongue I have only parroted back to myself; it is not enough to know the grammar and form, I must be fluent!

JONATHAN

But you do! You speak very well, especially for being self-taught.

DRACULA

[raises a finger] “Very well” is not fluent. Here I am noble, I am boyar. The people know me and their place and I am master. But if I am a stranger in a strange land, one who cannot make myself understood with the correct inflections, the correct intonation…no. You must correct me when I make error-

JONATHAN

Make ‘an’ error.

DRACULA

What?

JONATHAN

You mean…um��when you make “an” error.

Dracula smiles warmly, “…his lips [run] back over his gums, the long, sharp, canine teeth showed out strangely…”, his arms wide. Jonathan blinks at the fangs but he’s British; politely ignoring the eccentric appearance of wealthy people is in his bones.

DRACULA

There! You see? I am learning already. Now, tell me about the house you have purchased for me in England.

JONATHAN

Oh! Yes.

He retrieves a sheaf of papers from his document case. The bag has a four-digit combination lock; one…seven…zero-seven, Mina’s birthday.

JONATHAN

The estate is called Carfax…

209     INT. CASTLE DRACULA – LIBRARY

A montage begins of Jonathan and Dracula reviewing and signing the paperwork for the estate.

Jonathan pulls out printed maps and blueprints for Carfax. He shows Dracula drone-shot photographs, and has him sign a thick sheaf of forms.

Behind them, night moves on.

Dracula leaves temporarily; while he’s gone Jonathan packs away his forms and circuits the library again. Reading the spines, he finds a well-worn book with no title. It’s an atlas; it falls open in Jonathan’s hands to a map of England.

[Camera zooms in] There are three places circled; the area in Purfleet where Carfax is, Exeter and Whitby.

210     [FADE-IN] INT. CASTLE DRACULA – DINING ROOM

The perspective fades through the map to show Dracula and Jonathan seated in the dining room again, talking and eating- well, Jonathan is eating- dinner. Perspective fades through the scene again; now they are sitting before the fire, still talking, Jonathan nursing a crystal glass of brandy.

A loud rooster crow sounds from outside the castle. Dracula, startled by the noise, jumps to his fleet.

DRACULA

Look at the time; it is dawn again! I apologise for keeping you up, my friend, you must get some sleep. You are far too interesting a tour guide for new home!

Dracula bows politely as Jonathan smiles, pleased and self-effacing. Jonathan returns the bow as he stands; he turns slightly to put the glass down on a side table beside his chair and when he turns back Dracula has vanished.

211 INT. CASTLE DRACULA – GUEST BEDROOM

Jonathan is lying asleep in bed, twitching, tossing and turning restlessly. Eventually he comes out of REM sleep and sighs heavily; it’s clear he is not going to get much sleep.

Jonathan opens his eyes and gets out of bed.

212 INT. CASTLE DRACULA – GUEST BATHROOM

Jonathan is shaving, the camera focussed on his reflection in the silver-backed mirror which shows the audience the entirety of the room.

As he scrapes the safety razor down one cheek, there is a visible depression on his right shoulder as if someone is placing a hand there even though there is no one standing behind him in the mirror.

DRACULA

Good morning

Jonathan startles. The razor slips. Jonathan hisses in pain and drops the razor; he fumbles with his toilette bag for a plaster but an inhumanely strong grip on his shoulder forces him to turn around. Up this close Dracula seems a little younger; one or two fewer wrinkles, and there is grey peppering his white hair.

There is a hungry fury blazing in his eyes.

Dracula lunges for Jonathan – aiming for his face? His throat? Jonathan stumbles back a step and the movement shifts the crucifix up and out from beneath his shirt a little.

Dracula’s fingers brush the beads and he snaps back as if slapped. Jonathan, breathlessly, and Dracula, resentful, eye each other for a long moment.

DRACULA

Be careful with yourself. Bleeding can be more dangerous than you think in this country.

JONATHAN

…I know..germs…

DRACULA

Mmm

Dracula suddenly grabs the mirror and dashes it against the wall. It shatters. Jonathan gapes at the sudden carnage. He does not notice that Dracula has vanished.

JONATHAN

Wha-

He is standing in the bathroom alone.

213     INT. CASTLE DRACULA – DINING ROOM

Jonathan leaves his rooms and finds breakfast set for him in the dining room. Dracula is not there.

[fade out, scene overlap] Jonathan wipes his mouth with a napkin, and gets up from his chair, having finished his breakfast. He starts to leave.

214     INT. CASTLE DRACULA

[Aerial shot] Jonathan walks the corridors. A few doors, close to the guest quarters; [close up shot; side profile] Jonathan tries one door but, rattling the handle, finds it locked.

He is confused; many old manors shut up sections of the house if they are disused or in need of repair but this room is close to his own, clearly clean and well-used. It should be fine.

He lets his fingers drag on the door handle as he releases it. Dust. Jonathan looks confused and deeply concerned.

[Close up shot; side profile] Jonathan dashes to another door. [Close up shot] Dust on Jonathan’s fingers; another locked room.

A montage of frantic hands rattling dusty, locked doorknobs attached to various doors. [Aerial shot] Jonathan runs deeper into the castle, [various camera angles] finding more and more doors to numerous rooms locked tight. At first they were mostly clean; by the end Jonathan is reaching through thick cobwebs and layers of dust to try the doors.

Jonathan has double-backed on himself and stops. Light from a blue sky shines through the gap in the walls. Jonathan walks forward.

215     EXT. CASTLE DRACULA - BALCONY

[Aerial shot] The hall is leading him out onto a balcony. “…The view [is] magnificent…the castle is on the very edge of a terrible precipice…a thousand feet [down]. As far as the eye can see is a sea of green treetops, with occasionally a deep rift where there is a chasm. Here and there are silver threads where rivers wind in deep gorges through the forests.”

[Upper bust shot; close up] Jonathan slumps, pale-faced and shaking, against the balcony railing. The full horror of his situation finally sinks in.

He is a prisoner.

JONATHAN

[shakily] He's his own servants. ...that's actually quite impressive.

He does not like he finds his remark funny. He looks terrified.

AUTHOR'S NOTES

For Mina's birthday, I used the day and month of Florence Balcombe's birth. She was Bram Stoker's wife.

[spiked-mall-goth]

so i had such a day today omggggggg

so got up early as hell to go see saw which was at 12:15pm. theaters a ways away and we wanted to go to the flea market.

at the flea market i saw this cute halloween tin and was like oooOOOooo !! but i picked it up and it rattled, and was full of halloween JEWELRY!!! sooo i obviously got it, bc it was only $1(usd)

keep walking and a very big lamp catches my eye, idk why but i HAD to go look at this lamp. so i mosey on over take a look at the lamp and hidden under a pile of stuff next to the lamp is a little woodstock figure!! hes in a valentines heart chocolate box and i literally was like YIPPEEE!!! so i got him for a dollar and put hm in my little halloween bucket.

keep walking and my brother stops to search a toy bin for go bots, and i find a SNOOPY!! hes a 2018 mcdonalds toy and hes sitting on a cloud holding woodstock and when you roll him is EARS SPIN. literally the coolest thing evr def screetched a lil dont even worry abt that. hes now also in my bucket.

so we move on and this booth has some really nice halloween stuff set out so i go over to look. and the older lady who owned it saw my halloween bucket and was 'that is so cute!!' and i was like 'right?? it was only a dollar and it had jewelry!!' so i open it to show her and she sees my snoopy and woodstock and is like 'HOW CUTE COME LOOK AT MY BOBBLE HEAD' and pulls me over to look at the snoopy bobble head she had as decoration. and ofc im like 'OMG HOW FUCKING CUTE' and we chit chat and then shes like hey i think youd like this, and then pulls me over to a glass case with a DRACULA TROLLS DOLL IN IT. and ofc im FREAKING OUT BC HOLY SHIT ITS A DRACULA TROLLS DOLL. anyways i did not have $25 to spare today :<

so we leave the flea market and go get movie snacks to smuggle in (im so poor btw), get to the theater and buy tickets. the worker is like 'yep saw x, youll be in theater 8' so me and my brother walk in and sit down just to be greeted by paul dano in a santa hat staring straight at us telling us about the stock market and nfts. we are like ????? check the tickets. they moved the time from 12:15pm to 1:50pm.... we have made a terrible blunder. we debate what to do b4 walking out of the theater and going up to the front like 'heyyyyyyy so we totally got the wrong time, can we come back later with the tickets or do we have to stay here?' and she was like 'yeah totally. i noticed u walked into dumb money a few minutes ago and was like hmmmm i wonder if they noticed.' SHE WAS GONNA JUST LEAVE US IN THERE. that is so fucking funny to me.

we go kill time at a thrift store, my younger brother buys a vial of holy water.

we come back, still terribly early but whtvr. me and my older brother play the worst game of pocket tanks this world has ever seen. my younger brother texts to let me know he stopped at a different thrift store on the way home and got me AN X FILES VHS FOR FIFTY FUCKING CENTS !!!!!! YIPPPEEEEEE!!!

we watch saw. very bad movie omg. come home, breath once then right back out the door for my older brothers band to practice and then a boring ass social event. there were burgers there tho,, damn fine food.

thats all the interesting stuff but im already here typing and your already here reading. i had a fight with my printer trying to print the notes i needed for rehearsals tmrrw (i waited last minute whoops). my cat did the most rancid thing i've ever seen. she propped her hind leg on the rim of the water bowl to lick her tosies.... i cannot even describe.. maybe i'll draw it later if i have the time. i set up my new figures on my desk (its so crowded lol) and i worked a little on the sculpture im making. yesterday my brother accidentally yanked my arm weird. he kinda pulled on the elbow i have previously fractured and it hurt but was fine, then tonight i was saying bye to my friend and he also yanked it. ouch. wearing a brace rn bc woof. i finished up some of the choreography i was working on for my next show, although i have no idea if it will actually work bc i did it alone in my room and not with like the 7 other ppl. i had a stange fruity drink, didnt taste good. my best friend texted me panicking bc she took smth WILD and was off her gourd. (shes on a business trip btw). i also did the laundry.

[annyankers]

TOP SECRET first chapter of the dangerous/savvy spuffy fic bc i need thoughts on how to progress.

basically need to get us from here to fool for love. have been considering a pit stop in out of my mind bc the fight would be interesting in this universe and you know the Revelation. would involve more with joyce's stuff and maybe a visiting neurosurgeon who gets kidnapped instead the Riley Stuff bc the kindest thing i can do for riley atm is just not draw him.

feel free to gimme thoughts in replies/answers/dms idk whatever works for you!

(chapter under the cut. barest editing has been done)

If there was something Buffy had learned over the years of her being the Slayer it was that the minds of vampires were alien compared to humans, but unlike other demons they weren’t totally incomprehensible. She’d spent enough time around them — hell she’d even dated one— to see that there was a logic and it was one you could follow and understand to what they did. And that understanding was part of the silent agreement she’d had with Spike since last year.

Chip or no Spike was dangerous and once they’d learned more about the Initiative and learned he could hurt demons she should have killed him. That was the responsible slayer thing to do. But she didn’t because she knew Spike well enough to know what his interests and goals were. He wanted the chip out before he left Sunnydale because out in the world there absolutely humans who could take out a vampire, like hunters and necromancers. He couldn’t rely on minions and his reputation for his own personal protection forever, eventually one would turn on him or fail. He stuck with Buffy’s side because he knew that of the two of them she was the one more likely to get access to the kinda people who could do brain surgery. Also he knew that if he left to go and explore his options elsewhere she’d have Willow track him down and Buffy would stake her himself before he was halfway to LA.

Spike was her responsibility and it was her job to balance keeping him on a tight leash and letting him loose to blow off some steam.

Her break up with Riley last year had been well timed (and embarrassingly prompted by Spike knocking sense into her. She hadn’t even wanted to date Riley in the first place! Why had she gone with it!?) things hadn’t gotten so serious that it was painful or messy and they were still in contact in that “we’re in the same business” kinda way. Likely in Spike’s mind with a bit of time and buttering up they could get the chip out which hey, probably had a point there. She idly considered it again, if that was a route she should take, but opted once again to leave it in limbo for now. Right now the pressing issue in her mind was that Dracula was in town and wanted to get chummy. She’d already had a Scooby meeting with the gang over what they knew about him but now it was time for her to hit up her other well of knowledge.

The Scoobies weren’t exactly privy to the depth of her and Spike’s agreement, how much she actually talked to him and how much weight she put on his opinion. Spike didn’t get to where he was as a Big Name Vampire by being stupid or bad at vampiring. She liked to pick his brain on all kinds of things, there was only so much of it she actually put stock into of course. He might be technically her ally but they both knew he was the de facto Big Bad of Sunnydale since there wasn’t anyone else around currently who could actually wrangle anyone around here. Kinda made her miss the mayor sometimes, at least he put civic works on his list of evil schemes.

As it stood she was pretty sure the only person who got that she and Spike were the two biggest fish in town and that they acted like it was Giles, who took whatever info she relayed without always naming her source with a kind of knowing silence.

She barged into his Crypt, Spike looked up from where he’d been watching TV.

He raised a brow at her. “Yeah Slayer? Need something? Kinda busy here.”

She didn’t waste her breath. “So it looks like Drac’s in town and he’s looking to get a bite of Buffy Pie. You know anything about him?”

Suddenly Spike was interested. “He owes me 11 pounds for starters.”

Buffy’s eyebrows shot up. “Dracula owes you money?”

“Yeah.” Spike lit a cigarette. “Fucker.”

“So you know Dracula?”

“Yuuup. We're old rivals. But then he got famous, forgot all about his foes. I'll tell you what. That glory hound's done more harm to vampires than any Slayer. His story gets out, and suddenly everybody knows how to kill us.”

“Okay so what can you tell me about him? He’s got like, wizard powers I know that, he kept poofing when I tried to stake him.”

Spike waved a hand dismissively. “Low level parlor tricks he learned from the Rromani. The real threat’s his thrall. Bloody powerful.”

“Noted. Any ideas on where to find him so I can make him poof permanently?”

Spike raised a brow at her.

“He’s here for you pet, isn’t that what you said? You don’t have to worry about looking for him. He’ll come to you. And he’ll keep coming until he gets what he wants which I’m guessing is you as part of his ridiculous harem.”

Buffy groaned. “ Gross. Well do you have any anti-thrall tips?”

Spike got up, turning off the tv and going over to where he’d thrown his coat.

“None I’d be willing to share with you but I’ve got a better idea anyway. We head back to yours, you go about the end of your night as normal and when Drac comes to ply his cheap seduction I’m going to give him a piece of my mind.”

“Oh you are now?”

“Damn right. First off— I want my money. Second— it’s an insult to my reputation that he thinks that he can come into my territory and go after my prey. Like I can fucking let this shit stand—”

He walked right past her to the door and she followed, half amused. She probably should be offended by him calling her “his prey” but she got what he was saying. This was his town as much as it was hers, he was the head black hat around here and if anyone should be getting the slayer murdering trophy here it was him not some tourist who cropped up on the hellmouth just to get an “I killed the slayer and made her my vampiric consort” t-shirt. Buffy was with him there— well not that Spike had murdering her rights, but that there was no way she was gonna let some out of town vamp make a mess out of her perfectly nice hellmouth for his own fun.

Which is how she found herself in the deeply weird position of now trying to fall asleep while Spike sat in her chair.

“Is this really necessary?”

“Oh yeah. You’re his target. He’ll be through that window by the end of the night mark my words and when he does I’ll be there to rip his poncy head off for disrespecting me again.”

Buffy rolled her eyes and flopped back into her bed trying to get comfortable and ignore Spike’s presence in her room and get some sleep. Or at least be less suspicious bait.

The thing was that last time she’d been this serious about dealing with a vamp it’d been Spike last year. He’d chased her around Sunnydale like the freaking terminator with his stupid anti-vampire damage decoder ring. A ring which she was keeping safe in this very room. For a brief moment when they’d all been looking at it on Giles’ coffee table she thought about giving it to Angel but then she remembered Angelus and the thought died. She wasn’t thrilled with Angel and how that relationship had ended but if he ever lost his soul again while he had a ring that made him indestructible it would be a nightmare. She’d give it back to Spike before she let that happen. She didn’t know how the whole chip situation would react to the ring and honestly she didn’t want to find out. She hoped Spike wasn’t much for snooping.

Somehow eventually, maybe from the sheer power of boredom, Buffy fell into a half doze only to startle awake what felt like a minute later.

There were now two weirdly dressed vampires in her room. Spike and Dracula who he was blocking from getting to her.

“Hey Drac. Funny seeing you here after all these years. Come to pay me back those 11 pounds?”

“Spike. Why are you of all vampires in a Slayer’s bedroom? I didn’t think you had sunken to killing your prey in their sleep.”

Oh shit he did know Dracula. Wow.

“Oh come off it. I’d never.” She could hear the smirk in his voice. “It’s just that this one’s mine and I couldn’t help but notice you coming into my town to try and steal my fun. I’m the Slayer of Slayers mate. You’re a kid’s birthday magician.”

“Mind your tongue!” Dracula scowled looking from Spike to Buffy and back. “If she is your prey then why is it that you can enter her home and she is not yet dead?”

Spike’s smirk turned to a grin. “Cause half the reason I like goin’ after Slayers is I like the fight and this one’s got lots of it. No fun killin’ her just yet when there’s plenty of good fight to be had, though I’ll admit after getting a taste I reconsidered on that one.”

Dracula’s eyes bored into Buffy until Spike moved between them again, likely to protect her from his thrall.

“Course. Nearly took out her jugular last year. Fuckin’ ambrosia. Been a tic since the last Slayer I ate but she’s even sweeter than I remembered.”

There was a hungry look now in Dracula’s face. “You have tasted her?”

“I have. And I will again. Only vampire who will. Slayer’s out of your league. Their blood’s top shelf and not for overdramatic twits like you— it’s something you ought to earn, the taste is.” Spike put a hand on Dracula’s chest. “ Well that’s for me to know and for you to never find out mate.”

Dracula’s eyes burned as they snapped to Spike. “You dare to touch me?”

“Fuck yes I dare.” She could hear the crunch of Spike’s bones. “And I’ll do more than that two you overrated sideshow. Fuck off back to Transylvania this Slayer is mine.”

“You are not worthy of being her equal. To teach her of her own darkness.”

That seemed to set something off in Spike and his hand on Dracula’s chest became a fist, twisting into his blouse. His other one was balling into a fist as well, getting ready to sock him.

“I’ll say it again one more time. The only one who makes her neck their chalice is me. Fork over the cash and fuck off back to your Eastern European shithole of a castle.”

Dracula looked scowling from Spike to Buffy who was now wielding a stake from under her pillow. She wiggled it as she quirked a brow.

“This is not over.” He spat.

“Yeah I think it is.” Spike drawled.

Then poof! Dracula was all misty and floating out her window.

“That’s all the big name Dracula time I get? That was anti-climatic.” Buffy griped.

“Yeah and if it had been climatic your furniture would’ve been the first casualty.” Spike said as he plopped down onto her bed.

“Never mind. Anti-climatic good.”

Spike snorted. His face was still demonic, yellow eyes glinting at her from the shadows of a bone white head. It didn’t send chills down her spine like it did even just a year ago but it didn’t put at her ease either. She’d listened to everything Spike said and knew that while, yeah sure, it was posturing he meant what he said. One day their truce would be done and one of them would end up dead. Spike had a vested interest in keeping other vamps off her in situations like this because he wanted first, middle and last crack at her. Buffy dropped her stake back onto the bed.

“Didn’t even give me my money before he scarpered.”

“And that really is the worst part of his visit to turn me into his vampire harem ho.”

Spike nodded. “Thank you for recognizing that.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Okay I’m gonna try and get some actual sleep now.”

“Right I’m going to stay here a bit, make sure he doesn’t think he can circle back after I’m gone and get in a quick thrall.”

“In the room or the house in general?”

“I’d just say the house but with our luck I leave to watch a bit of telly and he’ll be in here the second I close the door.”

“Yeah true. Sounds about right for my luck.”

“You look for his posh mansion or whatever he’s got in the morning and I’ll get some minions tomorrow night to do a bit of tracking on our end.”

Spike got up and purused her bookshelf before pulling one off, she couldn’t really see what he’d picked in the gloom. He sat down again and cracked open the book, settling in to read. Spike didn’t really keep minions in the traditional sense, but he did consider any vampire living in Sunnydale to have tacitly agreed to being his minion by the sheer fact they lived here and he wasn’t afraid to bully them into doing his shit work.

“Right.” Buffy flopped back down into her bed. “Night for real this time I guess.”

“Yeah, sweet dreams Slayer.”

---------------------------------------------------

Honestly the whole Dracula thing ended up being kind of a let down. The most interesting part really had been Spike’s stand off with him. It had real soap opera vibes compared to the low budget d-movie vibes raiding his mansion had had. Guess that’s how it always is when you meet a celebrity. They just never held up to the hype.

The thing that was really worrying her was her “hunting” as Dracula called it. Which was— yeah. That’s what it was.

It seemed like every year she got a little more Slayery but something about whatever they did with that spell during the last apocalypse had kicked it into overdrive. She felt wild sometimes, primal. Like all her hungers were just More now. Sometimes she almost felt out of control while also completely in control. Like she was the calm and the storm. It made no sense at all. She’d talked to Giles about starting up her training again. If that spell, the dreams after and her new found urges taught her anything it was that she didn’t know enough about what she even was. What really was the Slayer? How was she made? Who did it? What was she at the end of the day? Human? Half something else? Human plus a spell? What did that mean for her? Did it even matter?

Frankly it was a whole can of worms she’d been actively trying to avoid since she’d found out about Kendra being called. How was she still the slayer if the slayer juice or whatever had moved on? How’d it work? What were they? She didn’t have any answers. Just the feeling like she was two things in one body pulling in different directions but also the same thing all bound up in itself just like it should be.

Buffy prowled the cemetery looking for prey to take out her endless mental circling on. She came across some vampires and tore into them with ease. Enjoying the burn of working muscle as she decimated them with hard-won skill and natural power. It was over fairly quick but satisfying enough she might actually get some rest now. Then she noticed Spike, leaning against a mausoleum and watching her with that burning stare. She’d sensed him but hadn’t actively noted him, her subconscious or whatever not seeing him as a threat she guessed. A dangerous habit to form.

She walked over and he met her in the middle.

“Times like this I wanna crack my bloody skull open and rip the chip out myself.” Spike’s voice was low and rough, his eye’s burning hungrily. “The things I’d do to you Slayer.”

Everything about that sent a tingle through Buffy that she was pretty sure was left over from her weird slayer hunting urge that was only just dying down.

“Yes, I know Spike. You’ve got lots of wicked bad evil plans to do terrible horrible things to me if you ever get your capacity for human murder back.”

He brushed some of her hair back behind her ear. A power move she steadfastly ignored.

“What’s got you out here in the dead of night Slayer? Isn’t it well past your beddy bye for a night like tonight?”

Buffy shifted and looked to the side. “Couldn’t sleep.”

He grinned slowly. “Not enough blood in your teeth?”

She glared at him. But he ignored it.

“Happens to me sometimes. Don’t get in enough violence in my day and it feels like my skin’s gonna come bursting off. Gotta get in a couple of kills before I can finally tuck in. Rip out some throats and all that. Practically demon nature.” He looked her over with interest. “Suppose it makes sense it’s Slayer nature too. You’re built to hunt us.”

That mollified Buffy a little but she still didn’t really like it. But it brought her back to all the things she’d been thinking and feeling since the spell. He had a point. The only other beings who were close enough to slayers to compare where probably vampires—and humans sure, but humans weren’t all aggro and bloodlusty like she got. She had needs and impulses and instincts no normal humans would ever have, not even getting into the physical stuff like strength. Buffy moved automatically over to the mausoleum that Spike had been leaning on to do so herself and he followed.

“I never used to have an urge for— for hunting— that was this powerful before that spell we did to defeat Adam. Now it’s like— I don’t know like I’m more me.”

“Why I hear it you all tapped into something primal, powerful.”

“The First Slayer.”

Spike’s brows raised. “Oh yeah? And what was she like?”

“Primal. Powerful.” Her lips twitched up in a momentary smile. “She was intense and angry and alone. Practically a force of nature.”

“Well there you go. When you did that spell you brought back out with you a little bit more of what’s at that gooey Slayer core and whatever it is, it’s kin to us demons if your feeling the same kinds of urge that I do.” One again his eyes were full of liquid fire. “Cause it’s not just the urge to kill is it? Or at least it’s an urge that you could get off a couple of ways— fighting, fucking, feeding. The three things vampires love best. I bet when you get that itch that keeps you up at night you go for one of those and it’s the first two that do the job best. Shame you dumped soldier boy last year isn’t it? Then again he probably wouldn’t have been able to keep up.”

It was frankly horrifying how spot on he could get.

She glared at him. “You’re a pig Spike.”

He just grinned and bit his tongue just a little.

“We’re nothing alike okay? Demon, Slayer. Bad, Good. Opposites.”

Spike leaned in, looming over her. His breath cool and tabacco-y against her face.

“You think you know ... what you are ... what's to come? You haven't even begun.” He smiled again and some how it was the same smile as always but completely different. It was like the Spike from junior year was back. “You’re as much a part of the dark as me Slayer. You might bat for the other team but you’re built like me. Believe me, I know.”

A chill ran through her along with electricity. She wanted to slap him and run. She wanted to shake him and make him explain his bullshit. Tell her everything he knew about it if he wanted to act like he knew things.

“You might hunt Slayers for sport or whatever Spike but you don’t know anything about us.”

He leaned back a bit so he could meet her with glittering eyes. “Oh I know more than I think you do dear. Never were much of an academic in your slayer studies were you? Remember, you’re not the first Slayer I’ve hunted.”

She didn’t have much of a comeback to that. She wasn’t much on learning the lore-y end of things and she really didn’t know the extent of what he’d done on the whole Slayer hunting thing. It was entirely possible he did know more about it than she did right now.

“Well Spike this has been fun but I’m heading home now. Have fun with the dregs— if I even left any.”

She flipped her hair as she turned and left. Not the most elegant retreat she’d made but she was pretty sure she thawked him with that so she’d take it. Her existential Crisis could wait until she was training with Giles, for now all she wanted to do was finally enjoy a nice night of sleep with no fears of vampiric creeps sneaking in again.

[sadclowngorl]

The lost boys across generations.

This is all just my headcanon, that could honestly change at any minute. 👀. My headcanons are based off the prequel script! Pls read it.

This also includes my headcanon of Werewolves in the lost boys universe!

I'm a big history lover but don't be surprised if I got some stuff wrong, I'm not from California or any of these decades, but did a lot of research on it. So that was fun!

Comment your own headcanons i need more!!!!!

1910's

Having still getting used to the whole vampire gig, they have troubles adjusting to their new powers. Marko breaks a lot of things accidently, Paul accidently floats off when he jumps and doesn't know how to get down.

Dwayne was disappointed in the no sun ever thing, he really did enjoy visiting the beach and the warmth of the sun. So :(.

David was more morally affected of the murder part, he has facing against eating the innocent and eating the guilty. Though he realized how hard it is to tell the difference between good and evil. And after talking to Max about it he figured just not eating family's or children would soothe his morals.

The boys really didn't want to depend on Max for money at first, and seeing as California really depended on Fishing, they'd help sailors and fishermen through the night. Gathering coin from their work and possibly from the others pockets.

Though eventually the workers were sick of their antics and kicked the boys from the fishing docks. By that time they realized how much money Max has and said well why not.

Baseball was introduced to America during this decade and while I hate saying this, they enjoy it. Playing some ball to pass some time and to feel at least a little human.

I hate saying it bc of twilight. Fuck u twilight.

The influenza made the boys learn that they are unaffected by disease and from that they realized how short of a life span man has. So the next decade they lived through it fully.

1920's

Hollywood shined through California, bringing in plenty of blood and fun.

Marko had small gigs as a singer in some speakeasys, he enjoyed the attention and showing off.

Paul learned how to play guitar during this decade and loves it to this day.

Dwayne at one point was scouted by an acting agent but Dwayne quickly declined and oh no..ate the guy. Whoops.

The boys did push back the threat of other gangs marching through Santa Carla, by obviously. Eating them.

Through many decades, Max was very introverted. And stuck to his home in the busy nightlife of Santa Carla.

From gangs and people coming into California. Came werewolves.

1930's

They gained the name 'The Lost Boys' in this decade from the locals.

The stock market crashed, causing many to go into poverty. The boys understood facing the problem of poverty and in this decade decided to leave the needy be.

Instead they tried to feed from the humans who have no worries, and stole from them. Giving the goods to the locals who needed it more.

Much of this decade they decided to stay in the shadows, trying to be even unseen as night.

Along with the fact that Dracula (1931) just came out, they really don't need that kind of publicity. Plus Max prevented them from doing any rash decisions.

Though murder was still very high in Santa Carla because the werewolves were running rapid. While they mainly stuck to the woods, some did travel to the docks, poverty stricken neighborhoods, just to feast.

1940s

Then came the war, the internment camps, the fear.

The boys thrived from this fear.

They easily avoided getting drafted, by claiming to be gay. Which they weren't lying 👀.

By the 40s, they've had vampire foursomes. No doubt in my mind.

When the war ended in 1945, hitchhiking became very popular.

This was the year they got their own bikes, by got i mean stolen.

With their bikes they picked up lonesome hitchhikers, and played as hitchhikers in the night.

Though by the 40s the tension between the vampires and werewolves were high. The groups would constantly test each other which would end in bloody fights. The boys were outnumbered by the werewolves as they breed fast but, they had the skill over the wolves to keep them at bay.

1950s

The tension between werewolves and Vampires are on thin ice. The boys take full advantage of the greaser aesthetic and with it attract more victims.

Though they do attract the rivalry of the werewolves.

After decades of tension, the two's leaders have decided to come to a draw.

Meeting at the lighthouse, Max and the wolves leader decides the territory issues

The vampires take the boardwalk and the beach. The werewolves take the forest, and the mountains.

The only neutral part is the walton lighthouse and ofc like peoples houses.

After that issue is solved the boys decide to leave the wolves alone and focus back on their own feasts.

1960s

While the tension between wolf and vampires has eased, a new tension rises.

Communism, homophobia, raegan, the assassination of Kennedy.

While the political subjects the boys normally stay away from, when polictics decides to stick its nose in the boys way of life. Its a bit teeth grating.

The boys learned to live with hatred but didn't hesitate to eat their enemies, they need to keep the kill count in Santa Carla high after all.

Though they do become the victims of some hate crimes specifically gay hate crimes, along with threats of being arrested for association with communism. Ya know the red scare shit.

Moon landing happen. Or did it?

The boys are contemplating if the moon landing really did happen.

Marko and Paul do try to fly to the moon, get bored not even half way and go back home. Also the sun is always out in space, so not a good idea.

1970s

The boys are introduced to. Weed.

Ofc they love it, along with mari jane comes rock and a different type of crowd to feast on.

Paul seems to fit right in with the crowd of hippies, Dwayne enjoys their very calming nature but David and Marko are indifferent to the crowd.

Marko would rather run in the city than sit and smoke in the woods. While David enjoys smoking, he doesn't enjoy doing it with humans.

Marko takes a lot of advantage of the busting clubs with disco and fresh blood, David does the same but let's the victims come to him.

The group seem to bypass the movement of the Vietnam War, its just another war. War to them, its useless. Just killing each other? No no, thats theirs job to kill humans.

Max during this decade seemed to be looking for another member to join. Though he stays quiet of it and doesn't mention it to the boys.

1980s

Their peak

But also their downfall canonically

They love the art, the music, the people.

Everything about the 80s, they soaked right in.

Well..you guys know how they took to the 80s lol.

[jawritter]

Little Details...

Request: Could I maybe request a Chubby!Reader x Dean story? She's super sweet and kind of laid back, just going along with the boys as a research partner, but she's also super artsy and loves to draw Dean while she researches. Maybe some sweet and soft smut, oh! And maybe he plays with her hair? :) Thanks, dear!! 🌻💛

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Chubby!Reader

Warnings: a hint of insecure reader, a hint of self-loathing Dean, Smut, unprotected sex, light language, Angst, I think that’s about it.

Word Count: 2836

A/N: As always all mistakes are mine! Please do not copy my work! Feedback is golden! Hope you all enjoy this one! Also, the sketch featured in this pic does not belong to me and the complete credit goes to the actual owner! Whoever you are! You did amazing!

Want more? Check out my Masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

The bunker was dark and cold as you sat alone in the library, only the light from the kitchen that you'd left on and the lamp that was sitting on the desk shining as you sat in your usual seat behind a pile of books. A sketch pad stretched out in front of you, and the books have long since been forgotten. Your attention waivered to the drawing you had started yesterday while Dean was sitting across from you in the library, a glass of whiskey in his hand, and his feet kicked up on the table. 

Drawing Dean has become one of your favorite past times. It was some sort of an obsession, you realized that, but it helped you cope with the fact that drawing the detail of his face would be the closest you ever get to actually touching him.

You'd been living with the Winchesters as a researcher for over a year, and from the moment Dean pulled up in Baby to pick you up from your brother Garth's house you'd been in love with him. Garth said the boys needed help researching, and suggested you as the best he'd ever known, so Dean came all the way there to pick you up himself. 

It wasn't something you could control, it just was, you just were. There was nothing that could change it, no matter how much you wanted to.

Dean didn't like girls like you. Dean liked girls that were platinum blondes, with a huge chest and perfectly flat stomach. Those kinds of girls that look like they walked right off the pages of his favorite porn magazine. 

You were none of those things.

Your stomach wasn't flat, you had a little extra weight on your hips, you had nice breast, but you were convinced that was just because you were heavy. You weren't obese, but you weren't a size zero either. 

You weren't a platinum blonde. They wouldn't have taken your picture and put you in any porn magazine. You had nothing that would hold the interest of the God that was Dean Winchester. 

He saw you as a best friend, or maybe a little sister, not someone he would fall in love with. 

You were laid back and shy, you didn't have the guts to even ask a guy out, much less let Dean know how you felt about him. Not that you'd take a chance anyway, and mess up the only kind of relationship you will ever have with the eldest Winchester, so you settled to drawing him. 

You liked drawing anyway. It was an escape from all the crazy, creepy, evil that surrounded the life of a hunter daily. 

"Morning Sweetheart," Dean said, dragging his feet as he entered the library, and you quickly hid your drawing so that he couldn't see it. 

"Morning Dean, you're up early," you tell him as he took his usual seat across from him.

"Yeah, one of those nights I guess, I just couldn't get comfortable." 

You found that hard to believe, he had that whole bed to himself with a memory foam mattress on it. What in the world could stop him from getting comfortable?

"Well, what do you have planned for today?" you ask him, getting up to go and start breakfast for the two of you. Dean stood and followed you into the bunker kitchen. Sitting on the island in the middle of the room as you took out a pack of bacon and started to lay it out in the pan.

"I actually wanted to see if you wanted to just hang out and watch movies or something, you know have a lazy day," Dean said with a shrug. "Sam left today to go to Ohio and help Elieen with a witch hunt, and that just leaves me and you with the whole bunker to ourselves.

You stood stock still for a moment before you could answer. Dean had never wanted to just hang out with you before because you had the whole bunker to yourselves. I mean the two of you would occasionally watch a movie with Sam, and he sometimes would sit and talk to you in the bunker, but Dean was usually a pretty private person. He liked to hang out in the garage, and work on baby, and not really socialize much. Even though he called you his best friend in the kitchen a few months ago, he was always pretty distant, but Dean was distant from everyone, so you didn't worry about it.

"Sounds great Dean," you finally got out as he grabbed another pan, and started mixing up pancake batter next to you. 

"Great! I'm thinking we will start with a classic, Bram Stoker's Dracula maybe? See where it goes from there,'' Dean said, sounding excited. You couldn't help how your chest swelled thinking about Dean actually wanting to hang out with you.

An hour later Dean and yourself had eaten breakfast and cleaned up the kitchen. Dean was getting the movie going for the two of you, and you were sitting on the couch, making yourself comfortable. 

"Okay Sweetheart," Dean said, flopping down on the couch and throwing his arm around you, pulling you very close to his side. Your heart was pounding in your chest at the close proximity, but you just went with it. Dean was never like this, but you weren't going to question it, you were just going to enjoy it because you knew it might not ever happen again.

Many movies later, and several pizzas, Dean and yourself were watching the credits roll on Pet Sematary, and Dean was stretching next to you. He'd kept very close proximity to you all day, even letting you cuddle with him while you two watched TV together. It had honestly been the best day you had ever had, and you weren't excited that it was getting late. 

"Hey Y/N, can I ask you something?" Dean said, looking at you cautiously. Your heart was pounding so hard in your chest you were sure he could hear it.

"Sure, Dean." 

Reaching over the side of the couch Dean pulls out a little black binder. One you recognize immediately. It was the binder that you kept all your drawings of Dean in. Your heart literally stopped mid beat as he turned to look at you, opening it up, and revealing your work. 

You couldn't speak, you couldn't breathe...

"Sweetheart, These are really..." 

Not letting him finish his sentence you snatched the binder out of his hands and literally ran towards your room, slamming the door behind you and locking it as tears made their way down your check. Throwing the binder in your underwear drawer you fall into bed and pray for death because that was the only thing that was going to take away that kind of embarrassment. 

All you could do was cry, you couldn't even think straight. He'd sat there and watched TV with you  ALL DAY! Let you cuddle with him, laughed with you, ordered food for you. You had a great day with Dean, and the whole time he was sitting over there with your binder, waiting to ask you about it. Guess he was just trying to soften the blow before he approached you about it.

You had never been more humiliated in your life. 

You were so upset that you didn't hear Dean pick the lock on your bedroom door, and when you felt the bed dip next to you, you nearly jumped out of it.

"Y/N, please don't run from me." 

You froze where you sat, looking anywhere but Dean, you couldn't stand to see what you thought you said there. Judgment, mocking, just like all those boys in high school that found out you had a crush on them and started calling you fat, and other mean names. Dean not only looked like a jock, but he was probably no different. 

Putting his finger lightly under your chin Dean guided your face to him.

"Look at me, Princess," he said, his voice was softer than you thought it would be, not mocking at all. 

Making yourself look at him, meeting his piercing green eyes as he wiped the tears that had fallen off of your face with the pad of his thumb. 

There wasn't any judgment there, but there was so much emotion that you didn't understand. 

"Y/N, I'm so, so sorry. I shouldn't have sprung that on you that way. I found your binder laying on the bed when I came in here to grab the spare blanket, and I got curious and opened it. I shouldn't have invaded your privacy, and I wasn't going to make fun of you, or mock you, hell, I'm not even mad. I just want to know why me?"

That made your mind freeze up for a moment. "Why me?" He was really wanting to know why you wanted to draw him? Does he look in the mirror when he gets dressed in the morning?

You blinked at him, dumbfounded by the question.

"What do you mean why you?" you asked him, and he lowered his head for the first time like he was a little embarrassed himself. 

"Because I'm nothing, Sweetheart, I'm not even that great of a person. Why the hell would you want to draw someone like me?" 

You wanted more than anything to slap him at that moment. "Dean, do you look in the mirror when you get dressed in the morning? Your fucking hot!" 

Slapping your hand over your mouth you mentally slapped yourself for your little outburst. Looking at Dean like you would die right there if you could get away with it.

Dean snorted out a laugh that surprised you, raising his eyebrows a little. "So you think I'm hot?" 

"Oh God Dean,'' you said, covering your face with your blankets before he pulled them down and laid down next to you. 

"Sweetheart, don't get embarrassed. You're normally so laid back. Why are you so shy around me?" 

Taking a deep breath you decided it was now or never. He wasn't going to let it go. You wondered if he already knew and was just being manipulative, but you had never known Dean to be manipulative. 

"Because I like you, Dean, I mean I really, really like you! More than just a friend or a brother. I have feelings for you Dean. I don't expect you to feel the same way about someone like me, and I completely understand if I totally creeped you out by drawing you all time, I'll stop if you want me to, I completely understand if you don't want anything to do with me anymore. I can call my brother to come and get me, move in with him, and his family.."

Before you could stand up all the way, and keep rambling Dean grabbed you, turned you around, and crashed his lips into yours in a bruising kiss to shut you up. It didn't last near as long as you wanted it to, but it didn't take long to make you melt into him. His taste filling you, his warm lips gliding over yours and your lips worked together with him like it was something that they'd always done.

When he pulled away you were both panting, and he leaned his forehead against yours, brushing your hair away from your face. 

"Sweetheart, stop. I don't want you to go anywhere. I have feelings for you too, I always have, just didn't figure you wanted someone as fucked up as I am."

Snaking his arms around your waist he started backing you up to the bed and laid you down softly on the mattress before crawling up your body and hovering over you as you backed up against the pillows. 

"I don't mind that you draw me. You don't creep me out, and I don't want you to change a damn thing about yourself. The only thing I want to know before I take this any further, because trust me I want to, is do you want this with me for real? Because I've wanted it a long damn time, and once I go there with you, your mine. There's no going back, I've weighed too long for you to lose you, sweet girl."

You couldn't speak because part of you couldn't believe what you were hearing, so you just nodded your head. 

That was all the permission he needed before his lips found yours again, kissing you softly. His tongue gliding over yours. His hands trailing over sides. Lifting up the hem of your shirt so that his hands can graze over the skin there. A moan leaving your lips as the feeling of his hands on your skin. 

Dean sat up and ripped his shirt over his head, and threw it to the floor. You sat up and did the same. Hand's trailing over the newly exposed skin of his chest as he laid you down on the mattress slowly. His lips trailing from your jawline to your pulse point, leaving little love bites and open mouth kisses as he went before slipping his hand behind your back and loosening your bra. Pulling it off of you slowly and throwing it across the room.

"You so beautiful Princess," he whispered as his finger trailed over the mounds of your breast, admiring each inch of you like he was trying to commit it to memory. Lowering his head, taking each nipple in his mouth, giving each of them the same amount of attention as he worshiped your body. 

Sliding his hands into the waistband of your pants he slid your underwear and your sweats down in one pull. Before ridding himself of his own sweats and boxers. Leaving both of you bare in front of each other. 

He was glorious, all muscle power. You were not, and you were completely bare before him. You automatically reached for the blanket. Feeling self-conscious for the first time tonight with him when he grabbed your arms stops you. 

"No, no sweetheart don't hide from me. You're beautiful, and I want to see you." 

Covering his body with your he leans down over you, grazing the shell of your ear with his teeth, sending a shiver through your body, landing a jolt of arousal straight in your core. 

"I want to taste you, but I don't think I can wait any longer to be inside of you."

Dean settled himself between your legs and started to rut his leaking erection against your soaked folds, nudging your clit with every slow movement of his hips. A gasp fell from your lips as with one smooth pull of his body against yours he'd lined himself up with you soaking entrance, pushing himself inside slowly, stretching you in the best way as he bottomed out and both of you groan at the connection of your bodies.

Never breaking eye contact he started rutting himself against your body. Not really pulling out all the way or at all. Slowly, deep, he moved inside of you. His head is buried in your neck, as moans and shallow breaths falling form both of you as he hit places deep inside of you no one had ever reached. Building you both higher and higher until you were both tumbling over the edge together as his seed coated your walls and your body jerked underneath him, pulling and milking him as he spilled himself into you.

When you both finally came down from your he pulled himself out slowly, not bothering about cleaning yourselves up. He just pulled you close to his chest, playing with your hair while you just enjoyed being close to each other. One hand on the curve of your hips, running his fingers lightly of the skin there. Relishing in your body in a way that you were ashamed of. He saw you as beautiful, and he wasn't ashamed to show it. He loved your curves that you tried so hard to hide, and he made you feel beautiful. No one had ever done that before. 

After a long time, Dean chuckled to himself, making you look up at him in confusion. "What Dean?"

"Nothing. Just wait until I tell Sam you've been painting me like one of those french girls." 

You reach up and slap him on his chest with a laugh. "I'll kick your ass, Winchester," you say, trying to sound threatening. 

He didn't respond to your threat, knowing well that you couldn't even slap him hard enough to hurt him. 

You just laid there looking at the ridiculous smile on his face. You loved how it made the lines around his eyes stick out. The way he always perches his tongue between his teeth, but only the tip. The way his eyes seem to sparkle and just for a moment, he looks ten years younger than he really is. 

Those are the things you love about him the most. The little details most people miss. 

"What?" he asked when he looked down and saw you staring at him, still playing with your hair.

"Just enjoying all the little details."

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Tag List: 

@deanwanddamons​​ @imabitch4jensen​​ @rvgrsbrns​​ @bi-danvers0​​ @onethirstyunicorn​​ @i-love-superhero​​ @akshi8278​ @alanegaming​ @magssteenkamp​ @lemondropirwin​ @squirrelnotsam​ @hobby27​ @spnbaby-67​ @mrsjenniferwinchester​

[mst3kproject]

Exo-Man

Failed series pilots were very much part of MST3K’s stock in trade.  We’ve sat through San Francisco International, Stranded in Space, Code Name: Diamond Head and I’m sure there were others.  I generally recall all of those movies being kind of dull and lacking in personality, and I can’t imagine this 70’s superhero mess being much better.  I don’t think anybody in Exo-Man was ever on MST3K but Jose Ferrer (the first Latino actor to win an academy award, for 1950’s Cyrano de Bergerac) was once in a movie called Zoltan, Hound of Dracula, which I am deeply remiss in not having seen yet.  You may also recognize Harry Morgan, who was Colonel Potter on M*A*S*H.

Dr. Nick Conrad is a wacky physics professor of the type nobody has ever encountered in real life.  He’s somehow both smart enough to invent anti-gravity and memory plastic, and stupid enough to chase after a fleeing would-be bank robber.  The latter stunt, set to wakka-chicka Mitchell music, makes Nick the target of a mafia assassin, who kills his lab assistant and leaves Nick himself paralyzed from the waist down.  He wallows in self-pity for a while, but then rediscovers his passion for invention and builds himself a suit of armor that will allow him to walk again… and to take on the mob single-handedly.

I don’t know why they called the movie Exo-Man.  That name is never used in the dialogue.  I guess the more accurate Fiberglass Avenger just wouldn’t have sounded as cool.

The first thing you’re likely to notice from the plot summary is that Nick’s story starts off as Dr. Strange and then takes a hard left into Iron Man.  I’m pretty sure the latter at least was an intentional ripoff, with bits of the first thrown in, knowingly or not, to distance Exo-Man from Marvel’s lawyers. What’s funny is that posterity has actually made it a hat trick: the movie opens with a weirdly homoerotic jogging scene, so now he gets to be Captain America, too!

Exo-Man is a really stupid, often boring, and consistently ugly movie.  The actors are mediocre, the music bland, the effects terrible, and stuff is made to look ‘high tech’ by sticking lots of blinky lights on it.  Way too much time passes before we get to the action and when we do, we find a deep pit of disappointment.  Yet at the same time… I kind of enjoyed it.

A major part of why has got to be the incredibly dopey super-suit the main character wears, which looks less like ‘Iron Man’ and more like ‘Fiberglass Commando Cody’.  It moves really slowly and I doubt the guy in the costume can see very much.  Nick controls the bottom half of it using switches on one sleeve, which appear to have simple functions like ‘sit’, ‘walk’, and ‘jump’ (there is, of course, no ‘run,’ because nothing happens fast in this movie). He puts the thing on by lying down in what looks like a tanning bed (or maybe one of those contraptions from Avatar).  My personal favourite is the warning light labeled malfuntion.

All this is in a movie that sometimes manages to be surprisingly subtle.  We are introduced to Nick while jogging, we watch him play tennis with his girlfriend, and see him maintain this exercise regime even while he’s supposed to be under police protection.  These shots are in brilliant sunshine, and the camerawork is as active as the subjects. Post-injury, Nick never outwardly complains about his inability to participate in sports, but we now see him sitting in his wheelchair in dark surroundings, with the camera held perfectly still.  We feel that he has lost something he loved dearly, and we never need to be told it outright.

We are also introduced to Nick as somebody who is devored to furthering minorities.  His two lab assistants are an east Asian student and a Jewish one (the latter identified as such by a surname, rather than appearance), and the reason he was at the bank was to help a Latino student get a loan.  Again, the script trusts the audience to get this without having to draw attention to it through dialogue.  These minority characters are, of course, still just accessories to Nick’s story. The Jewish guy in particular is there to be fridged – its his death that leads to Nick flaunting his police protection and getting hurt.  But the effort was made to say that minority rights are important to Nick, without hitting us over the head with it.

Theme-wise, Exo-Man is about a man coming to terms with a disability.  I should preface this by saying that I am not disabled, so my perspective is necessarily biased.  If anything I say below is offensive, that is out of ignorance, and please let me know so that I may edit or delete the review and do better next time.  I was actually pretty impressed by how the script and director handled the life-changing nature of Nick’s injury… mostly.  I’ll start with the bad stuff.

The attack on Nick comes with a heaping helping of victim blaming.  As an important witness in the bank robbery, he was offered police protection.  The assassin tries to get around this by putting a bomb in his car, but one of the lab assistants borrows the car for a late-night pizza run, and gets killed in Nick’s stead.  This leads Nick to deliberately place himself in a vulnerable position, hoping to draw the killer out for capture and punishment.  In the hospital with a broken back, Nick blames the police for failing to protect him, but I’m pretty sure the movie wants us to think that this is really Nick’s own fault.  Like the tragic accident victims in Days of our Years, he has nobody to blame for his own misery, or that of his loved ones, except himself.

After that, however, the movie’s treatment of Nick’s disability improves quickly.  His girlfriend Emily leaves him, but that’s not because he’s in a wheelchair, it’s because he’s too busy wallowing in self-pity to even let her into his apartment. Later when he apologizes to her, she takes him back and they resume their happy relationship, and the fact that they can’t play tennis together anymore is not an issue.  She does not treat him as something to be pitied, she speaks to him on his eye level, and they avoid that weird trope of having the abled partner sit in the wheelchair-user’s lap.  Emily loves who Nick is, not what he can do.  His colleagues and students, likewise, treat him with respect and help him with his chair, and never make the latter feel like a burden.

By the end of the film Nick has come to terms with his disability.  The suit he’s built is not a cure for his condition: in fact the first time he wears it out, it breaks down and he needs help getting back to his high-tech armored van.  It’s a tool he has built for a purpose, and he doesn’t feel the need to wear it in non-superhero situations.  Based on what we see, he could have built a legs-only version to wear under his trousers and let him go jogging and play tennis again, but that is no longer who Nick is.  And when and whether to wear the suit is always Nick’s own choice, not something imposed on him from the outside.

Of course, it would also be really helpful in later maintaining Exo-Man’s secret identity, and I suspect the writers were thinking of that a lot more than they were of things like parents forcing questionable ‘cures’ on disabled children.  The secret identity probably would have been a big deal if the pilot had sold, but in this stand-alone story, I thought the suit worked well as a metaphor about a disabled man at peace with himself.

Exo-Man also takes a quick little peek at the morality of vigilante justice, although this comes in pretty late and clearly isn’t something they wanted to get into in any detail.  The first person Nick confronts in the suit is the assassin who actually beat him up. He says he didn’t go into this encounter with any real plan… perhaps he just wanted to scare the guy.  What ultimately happens is that the assassin climbs a drainpipe to get away from the terrifying robot man, the pipe comes off the wall, and the man falls to his death.  Nick feels this is his fault, and so the next time he takes the suit out he does so with a particular goal in mind: he wants to capture the mob boss and provide evidence of his wrongdoing to the police, not to kill anyone.

The mob boss’ name, by the way, is Kermit Haas, which is probably the least intimidating name a movie has ever given to its big bad.

Would that work?  Is evidence a guy in a robot suit left in your dumpster for you admissible in court?  Isn’t where stuff was found kind of important?  I honestly have no idea and I’m not sure how to go about finding out.  People might wonder why I want to know and I don’t think saying it’s for my blog would allay their suspicions.

At the end of Exo-Man, I was more entertained than not, but mostly on the level of laughing at the dumb-looking suit and appreciating the fine art of ripping off comic book characters.  If that’s your kind of thing then this movie ought to put the fun in malfuntion for you. If that’s not your thing, well… this is an MST3K blog.  What are you doing here?

[knox-knocks]

hello! congrats on 1k!! can i request a one shot with neil trying out stilettos, fishnets and make up + andrew's reaction? thanks! xx

hello!!! i was super excited for this request, thank you for sending it! it’s in bullet points if that’s alright though! 

It’s Neil’s second year at Palmetto and Halloween is coming up 

Neil has already decided that he does NOT want to dress up in a costume, no matter how much Nicky pleads with him

“You can’t show up to Eden’s without a costume!” Nicky exclaims for the fifth time. 

“There’s no rules that say I have to wear a costume,” Neil says, also for the fifth time.

Neil is debating staying at Palmetto while everyone else goes to Columbia anyway. He only decides to go with because the whole team is going (with the exception of a couple Freshmen, who have their own plans) and Neil wants every chance he can to have all of his Foxes together before Dan, Allison, and Renee graduate.

But still, he’s not going to dress in any of the stupid costumes Nicky keeps shoving in his arms. (An astronaut? Really? Neil looks like he’s wearing a fishbowl on his head).

“I just don’t get the point of dressing up in weird costumes when I can just wear what I usually wear. One night of the year shouldn’t be any different,” Neil says while he’s hanging out with Dan and Allison in their room. He’s slouched against their couch, taking up two cushions, his feet thrown over one of the arms. 

“You don’t have to wear a costume, Neil.” Dan points out. 

“That’s what I’m saying!” Neil throws his hands in the air, nearly knocking over the opened bottle of nail polish Allison is balancing on her knee. “I don’t have to dress up.”

“That’s not what she’s saying.” Allison peers down at Neil with an immaculate eyebrow raised. When he stares at her blankly, she rolls her eyes with a faux-exasperated sigh. “Halloween is the time to try new things, too. You don’t have to dress as a zombie but you can dress up, if you want. If you decide you don’t like it afterwards, you don’t have to wear it ever again.”

Neil scrunches up his face. “What would I wear? My Eden’s clothes are fine.”

“That’s up for you to decide. Just think about it. And if you need any help, you know where to find me.”

Neil thinks about it, but he’s still unsure. 

So he decides to enlist for Allison’s help. 

When he arrives at the girls’ dorm, Allison and Nicky are waiting for him.

“Neil why didn’t you say you didn’t want to wear a costume!” Nicky says. If it weren’t for the joking glint in his eye Neil might have throttled him. He’s still thinking about it.

The three of them spend the better part of the night planning. Allison and  Nicky propose different styles of clothes, compare fabrics, and debate colors while Neil chooses which ones he likes best. After a couple hours, Allison and Nicky have a pretty good idea what Neil might like to try. They order him a couple clothes and send him on his way.

Neil doesn’t quite know how to feel about it. The clothes they ended up picking were a lot different than he’s used to. He’s not quite ready for crop-tops, no matter how Allison pleaded and begged, but Neil thinks he’ll be a bit more comfortable in the clothes he picked out. It’s not jeans and a comfortable hoodie, but it might work. And if Neil is being honest with himself, there is a spark of interest, of curiosity in his chest. It is only one night, and Neil doesn’t have to commit, but it is something different, something new. 

Halloween rolls around and Neil finds himself being pulled into the girls’ dorm once again. 

Dan and Matt were already dressed. They sat together on the couch; Frankenstein and his bride. Matt’s hair is still heavily gelled so that it sticks straight up. He holds strands of Dan’s hair for her while she vigorously teases it up with a comb. When they catch sight of Neil, Matt gives a happy wave and Dan calls out a muffled greeting. 

Allison has set out an array of makeup on the coffee table and is working on applying it to her face, a tall witch’s hat perched on her head. She is about halfway through with the purple glitter on her eyelids when she turns around and motions for Neil to grab the bag of clothes next to her. 

Inside, Neil finds the clothes Allison ordered for him online. 

The shirt is made out of an expensive material; black mesh with a dark red undershirt that feels like silk. It’s soft in Neil’s hands, and Neil sets it down carefully on the bathroom sink. The next thing he grabs is the pair of black shorts. Neil was a little wary about them. They were shorter than his running shorts, and what little fabric would cover Neil’s legs was ripped “artfully” as Nicky put it. Still, Neil didn’t want to just wear the fishnets. 

The fishnets. 

The last thing Allison bought. The thing Neil is most wary about. 

Neil reaches into the bag and drew out the red fishnet stockings. They seem smaller than they are supposed to be, but the fabric is stretchy and doesn’t seem too hard to get on. 

Neil gets dressed quickly and twists around, studying the clothes on his body and deciding how he feels about them. 

They fit nicely. The shorts are tight and high-waisted, hugging his hips and thighs, but not uncomfortably so. The shirt is a bit looser, and while the material is pretty sheer, Neil can’t see any of his scars peaking through. He smooths his hands down his sides. The fabric is comfortable and easy to move around in. 

Allison is right. The fishnets do make his legs look good. He thought perhaps he likes them. 

When Neil left the bathroom, Matt lets out a low whistle. Dan looks him up and down and grins while Allison considers him, a manicured finger tapping her lip. Renee had appeared in the time it took for Neil to get dressed, and she gave him a smile and a small thumbs up.

“Am I done?” Neil asks. 

“Tuck in your shirt and come here,” Allison commands and turns back to her display of makeup. 

Neil does as he’s told and plops down next to Allison. Allison peruses her collection of glitters and shadows before plucking a long tube from a pile of other long tubes.

“How do you feel about mascara?”

Neil squints suspiciously at the sleek purple tube. “I’d prefer not to have my eyes poked out.”

Dan snorts from the other side of the couch and Allison gives him an unimpressed look. 

“Fine. Your eyelashes are already pretty dark, you ungrateful bastard.” Allison sets down the purple tube and grabs something else. “But I want you try some eyeliner. It’ll make your eyes pop.”

“How is that any better?”

“Don’t be a baby and give me your face.”

Allison places a hand on the side of Neil’s face and draws him closer. A couple careful strokes of the pencil later, and she leans back to consider her work. She tilts her head from side to side and adds a couple more strokes below his eyes as well. 

When she releases him, Neil blinks, resisting the urge to rub at his eyes. Allison already has another thing of makeup in her hand when Neil is sure his eyes aren’t going to water and ruin everything. 

“What does that do?” Neil asks. 

“It’s highlighter. This one’s more glittery so it’ll look great under the lights at Eden’s.”

“You’re gonna glow,” Matt chirps, startling Neil. He’s almost forgotten Dan and Matt were here as well. 

“Okay,” Neil says. He trusts her. When Neil got back from Evermore his Freshman year, it was Allison who painted over Neil’s mottled bruises and made him look good as new. A smile curves Allison lips and she flicks open the lid and applies the powder along Neil’s cheeks with a soft brush.

“Lastly,” Allison says “is lip gloss.”

She unscrews the lid and takes out the wand. Neil licks his lips, debating whether he should let Allison apply it on him. He nods his head.

“It’s only a tint,” Allison says quietly, focusing on covering Neil’s lips with a glossy layer, “but it’ll make your lips look nice and pink and,” Allison wipes a bit of lip gloss away from where it got on Neil’s skin, “kissable.”

Neil huffs a laugh. “Kissable?”

“It’s also strawberry flavored.” Allison smirks. “But don’t you dare lick your lips.”

“I wasn’t going to.” Neil scowls. He was absolutely going to.

Dan gives Neil one of her chokers to wear and helps him hook it round his neck. It’s not as tight as Neil thought it would be, it’s actually pretty comfortable. He laces up his boots and straightens up to find the Upperclassmen watching him.

“Okay, you’re done,” Allison says, nodding approvingly. “Now let’s go party.”

Andrew is waiting in the parking lot for Neil and the others to come down. Neil has the pleasure of seeing him before he spots Neil. He’s leaning against the Maserati with a cigarette propped lazily between his fingers and his lips. His hair is slicked back with gel, and the vampire costume is predictably, black. The only thing he’s wearing that isn’t black is the white button down shirt that looks like it belongs in the original Dracula movie and the inside of the cape, which is a blood red. Neil wonders if he even has fake fangs. 

Andrew takes a drag from his cigarette and glances up as Neil approaches. His eyes lock on Neil’s face and the hand holding his cigarette drops an inch from his lips and freezes. Neil tries not to look too pleased when Andrew’s eyes drag down his body and linger on each new article of clothing. 

“What are you supposed to be,” Andrew grunts. He drops the cigarette and grinds it out with the heel of his shoe. 

“Dracula’s boyfriend,” Neil says and earns a supremely unimpressed look from Andrew. 

“Alright let’s go!” Nicky shouts, running to the Maserati in his golden gladiator costume. “Preferably before it gets dark and Eden’s runs out of tequila!” 

Andrew’s gaze is heavy on Neil’s. When Neil grins, a smug smile curving his lips, Andrew’s eyes drop to his mouth. His throat bobs. 

“It’s strawberry flavored,” Neil says. Andrew’s eyes snap back up to his.

The lip gloss doesn’t last throughout the night. Neil thinks he likes these new clothes.

[kokoro4kakashi]

Little update about me! Since I’ve been pretty MIA here.

Been alright! Got my first ever flu shot today! I was one of those lazy people but I sucked it up and did it this year. I was extra nervous cuz a blood draw a few months back made me super dizzy and fainty at the doctor’s office. I know they’re not the same thing, but being an anxious person - I have trouble getting the thought outta my mind. On the anxious note - been doin alright! Feel like maybe the doctor might recommend going up a dosage amount at some point, but we’ll see. I definitely feel better in general now compared to before the anti-anxiety meds, tho. On a stress-less note - I totally impulse bought a cute squeezy toy after the flu shot...

I have no regrets.

Insulin kitty is doing fine. She loves chicken pate but my grocery store stopped stocking it. More specifically - the label was still there but some other flavor was in it’s spot. I amused the security cameras by digging behind to check, too. Gr. Had to drop by Target twice to get that flavor and once I was stocked up she started liking other pate flavors again, lol. So yeah - she’s still spoiled, but alright, too. 

I’ve been busy between finding time to spend with my boyfriend and his work schedule, spending time with my mom, getting house chores done, being around for maintenance appointments (sprinkler repair, heater repair, and shower tile repair - guess we have black mold behind some tiles - YAY!), scheduling and getting Jeep repairs done (recall and wanted a spare tire sensor notification fixed. Long story short - they can’t fix it without tons of money and time diagnosing, to i have to live with a bong every time I turn the engine on)... it’s been exhausting, hehe... Also did an ancestrydna thing recently, that was neat!

But, I’ve gotten into watching some twitch streamers (Swag Dracula, Sattelizer, gh005tie, KitBoga, Litt1eR3d, TieTuesday, and GassyMexican, mostly). Litt1eR3d is my new favorite! Makes me wish I had whatever I’d need to play Just Dance with her! Thanks to Subtember and wonderful community members I was able to renew some gift subs for $1, too. I’m happy about that :) Losing my mind laughing at TieTuesday atm.

I feel a little bit guilty about spending so much time on Twitch and neglecting Tumblr (specifically getting more Rewatch of Naruto done), but I figure it’s making me happy right now and I should focus on that.

Winter is coming, too. No GoT reference intended, lol. Thinkin about a new indoor succulent plan this year - that’s kiiiiinda been started, lol. I have to get on that. I finally got some air plants this year, too. Hopin they survive. I’ve also been tempted to try bonsai... Hopin my boyfriend brought more Texas heat with him up here so we get a warmer than usual winter (i.e. little to no snow, lol).

Still into yoga! Got a new non-slippy mat that I’m super happy with. I kinda waxed and waned on enthusiasm for the practice but kept to my commitment of being active for at least 30 minutes a day and next Saturday will be my 5 month anni of that! I slacked off with the new diet, tho, heh... still salads and good stuff, but I’ve let myself eat some bad stuff, too. 

Gonna get a new haircut tomorrow! Well, slightly different. I wanna try side bangs (to my left) and I dunno if I’ll want them blended into front framing layers or not. Prolly not. But some front framing layers lower, definitely. Big thing is, tho, I need to repair all the damage I’ve done - specifically from putting my hair into a ponytail when wet, like - all the time. It also feels dry. I’ll see what the stylist recommends. 

Hm.... what else. A neighborhood cat has been visiting a lot lately. I made friends with him, so he visits more. Problem is, one of my cats HATES him and gets all worked up when he spots him thru the slider door. So, I’ve had to erect a barrier to block the window sometimes. 

I think... that’s all the big things! Hope everyone’s been fine here, too! I try to peek in and flail over as much as I can when I can! <3